Politics for the Time Traveller.
by Mork from Ork.
In the 21st century New Zealand politicians hate democracy and try their hardest to remove all democratic processes from the country. This is shown in such acts as the Auckland Supercity, selling conservation land to mining companies and the Emissions Trading Scheme. By the end of the 21st century it is realised that politicians are all psychologically ill and they are all committed to mental institutions. This leads to a period of the greatest human freedoms ever achieved in history. However this enlightened age has not arrived yet so here is a scorecard to help determine which group of psychopaths you should vote for.
National : This is government for big business. John Key is caught in 2023 selling New Zealand to the US company Halliburton Industries. In his defence he only took a 3% commission.
Labour : While they once represented the working people, now their main objective is to get their leader elected as God. They finally succeed when, in 2046, there is the second coming of Helen Clark.
ACT : New Zealand for the sake of the uber-rich. They pass a law requiring all employees to pay their bosses for the privilege of working for their company. This is shortly after Richard Prebble claims that he is the greatest New Zealander that ever lived and that Edmund Hillary stole the credit for Richard Prebble climbing Everest.
Greens : Save the whales and destroy New Zealand. The Ludites get their own political party. Later it is discovered that big oil, in its quest to get rid of nuclear power , is the Greens biggest financial supporter.
New Zealand First : a.k.a. the Winston Peters Party, a.k.a. the Baubles Party. This is their last election: then Winston Peters ascends.
Just remember, there is no major political party that actually cares about you or the country, so just have fun voting.
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