Balloon Animals - New Design

My latest balloon creation. Brownie points if you can guess what it is.  I will be posting a videos on how to make this and other animals in the near future.

Comedy: The Time Travellers' Guide - Part 1

A column that I have been writing for a student magazine recently. I hope you enjoy...

Nanoo Nanoo.  This is the first in a series of irregular articles for the time tourist. You have paid your money and now you are enjoying the silly sights and sounds of the 21^st century. There are a few things that you should be aware of.

First: Don’t Panic. Blue is a natural colour for the sky. And those things in the sky are called ‘clouds’.

While the historical records such as ‘Shortland Street’ and ‘Home and Away’ are very accurate, they do omit a few things.  That white porcelain urn in its own little room is called a ‘toilet’ or ‘lavatory’. While they are never shown in historical records they must have some function as there are so many of them. Some houses and buildings have more than one. It is speculated they are either a religious altar or a place of meditation where the sound of rushing water calms the mind. People seem to get very upset if you use them as a source of drinking water.

Beware of the current medicine.  They still believe that bacteria and viruses cause most diseases.  Be very wary of surgeons, they still use knives.  And we won’t even mention psychology.

Heterosexuality is still legal. It is not until 2051 that the United Nations Declaration of Speciation is passed. This is in response to scientists pointing out that male humans have more genetic commonality with a male chimpanzee than a human female. The recognition that females and males are different species leads to the realisation that heterosexuality is actuality a form of bestiality.

Masculinity still exists. While later it is recognised that masculinity is a psychiatric disorder that is easily treatable by a monthly dose of Phyroxodon, at this date the pharmacological community is not yet that advanced.

If you need some quick cash, the winning numbers for this weeks Lotto draw are 32, 6, 24, 10, 2, 36. Bonus number 27. Power ball 3.Good Luck.

Next time : Things to do in the 21^st century.

Reasons for a Blog

It is that time of life; I have learnt much and seen many things. And I have decided it would be selfish of me to keep them to myself for all eternity. Therefore It seems only polite to share some of the areas of Mastery and writings before I forget them all.  Areas that this blog will concentrate on are: Magic, Juggling, Balloon Modeling, my Comedy writings and productions thereof, the music from my band and songs that I help write, Karate for everyone, self defence, my rocketry experiments and the rocketry club that I am in, Orcball and Live Role Play and just general stuff from my life.

There are of course limitations. Being a professional magician I am limited to materials I can teach about that noble art, but I will try to cover the basics. And being in Karate I will not teach you to kill people, no neck breaks sorry. Rather I will show you ways of winning a fight and imposing your will upon a conflict situation. Also rocketry by its very nature can be very dangerous, so some things I recommend that you do not try yourself.

But with these restrictions I hope that I add to the sum of knowledge of human race and thanks for reading.