Does and Don’t of Time Travel
The first thing to remember about travelling in the space-time continuum is that it is very elastic. There is very little that you can do to damage the future. Having said that, here are some does and don’ts for you to think about.
Do put aside some long term investments. Set up a trust and buy lots of shares and bonds. Do not invest in US bonds or shares as the U.S. economy melts down after they elect George W. Bush the Third as president. When you return to the future you will be rich. Good shares to invest in are Thor Helicopters and Hamilton Space Services.
Do get all your vaccinations before you travel in time. You will need inoculations for politics, religion and advertising.
Do get your body polarised before you travel down time. Because of the lack of the solar shield, a lot of UV radiation gets through. And there is some truth to those legends concerning spontaneous human combustion. When polarised your body will have a pretty jewel like sparkle in sunlight.
Do note that science fiction is not written as comedy. Star Trek, Doctor Who, Torchwood and Babylon 5 are dramas!.
Don’t worry about killing your grandfather. It can’t be done. Try it. We dare you.
Don’t sleep with your grandmother. If you do kill your grandfather, then this is an absolute no-no. You don’t want to explain to your children why you are your own grandpa.
Don’t let on that there are aliens living on the Earth. At the moment the extra-terrestrial population of Earth is approximately 100,000,000. Of these about one percent live in New Zealand. Just remember, giant squids are not originally from this planet. For any information on alien affairs, contact Agents J or K.
Don’t worry about changing the future. You’ve already done it. If you change the future, then only you will know. There was that time I slept with Marilyn Monroe, and because of that Kennedy was killed. You didn’t know that time had changed at that point.
Next time : The Mechanics of Time Travel
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